you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
