FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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