weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
