I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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