I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
