his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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