We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
