If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
