I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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