she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
