And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize