What a fucking waste of an outfit
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
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