You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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