You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
