I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Randomize
