Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
