New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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