Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she told me i tasted like america
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
