I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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