dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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