I have demons in me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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