so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
