you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
