dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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