my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ugly people sure do ruin things
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you had me at cake vodka
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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