this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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