North Korea, Best Korea!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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