I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
