oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
