Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
