We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
