Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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