I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
