So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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