i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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