Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
