The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
