Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
