sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
