I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
