Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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