i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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