Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
