i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
last night I used snow as a chaser
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
