Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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