Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
