Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
