3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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