I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
