So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
