yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
