someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize