I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize