You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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