your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
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you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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